and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
