You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
