Where did you get a picture of my penis
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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