So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we made out on top of his cat.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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