Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
