your room smells of hookers.
And success
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He felt like a one man threesome
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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