Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
