rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
