Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
