All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
