is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
