mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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