You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
