God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
high people should be assigned attendants
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
