no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Mom said you looked used
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So vagazzling was a success
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
