Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
