i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
