im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
