this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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