so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
