i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
