The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
