8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
