you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
