Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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