Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
