i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
