people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
