wat bout pragnant strippers??
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
