she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
