I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
