Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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