I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
