Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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