I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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