do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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