I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
