Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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