apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
