my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
