she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
the liver wants what the liver wants
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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