Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
so much tequila, so little girl.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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