Tell her she can't have a vagina
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she peed on how many people?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
