She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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