when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
