i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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