You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
