I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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