Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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