I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i was born a porn star she said
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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