i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
