well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
